Heartbroken
by lifeOFillusions
Summary: I stared at my stake, remembering. "If I became Strigoi... I'd want someone to kill me." My answer was simple when Dimitri asked me that question, "So would I." he said quietly. I'm going to fulfill that promise Dimitri—my blood promise to you. R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **

I do not own Vampire Academy… awesome Richelle Mead Does. I hope you'll like this. No Flames please.

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**Chapter One**

My dreams had always been dark ever since I found out Dimitri became a Strigoi. My dreams were either me standing on Dimitri's body with a stake pierced in his heart. Or worse I turned Strigoi with him by choice.

But this dream was different. It's too bright, happy and sort of realistic. I was walking barefooted on the sand watching the waves of the ocean. I was wearing a red tank top that showed my midriff, my _nazar_ was hanging on my belly as a belly ring, again and was wearing really short pair of shorts that I never owed in my life. Boy, did I look hot.

Then I realized that this_ just_ wasn't _my_ dream anymore.

I took a deep breath; I know I owe this guy a lot. He gave me money that would last me for at least two years. I didn't realize that that much amount of money was just _little_ for him. So I had to be nice.

"Hello Adrian." I tried to sound calm but there was an edge to my voice that showed that I wasn't happy about this at all.

Adrian popped up from behind a tree a few feet away from me. He had a smug smile on his face, his emerald eyes shinning in the sun. He looked cute and different I might add. If he wasn't a chain smoker or an alcoholic I might find him attractive.

"Hello little dhampir."

I tried to smile, but my mouth barely moved and I'm sure it looked more like a snarl.

He walked towards me and made a sound that caused me to clench my fists.

I forgot how annoying he could be. But I had to remain calm. _Be nice, Rose. _ I reminded myself. I relaxed a bit, trying to ignore my tensed muscles.

He raised an eyebrow; this made me look away because the action reminded me of Dimitri. "Come on Rose. Where is the girl that plays hard to get?"

I scowled at him, "I'm being nice." I snapped. Oh well, so much for trying to calm down. He always knows what buttons to hit.

He laughed, "That's the Rose I know and love." He sat down on the ground and patted on the space beside him, gesturing me to sit beside him.

I sighed fighting the urge to roll my eyes, if I was trying to be nice I might as well sit down beside him. Groaning, I added softly, "I know I owe you a lot Adrian, but please don't visit my dreams any time you want." Of course that's a lie. By that I mean this is the first time he visited my dream for awhile. I have been trying to block myself from Adrian and Lissa. I wanted my mind to be my own; I didn't want distractions at all.

He smiled and then rested his arm on his head. He didn't say anything for a few seconds and then he just laughed, "I haven't seen you in two weeks," he smiled, "I miss you." He tried to make it seem like he's joking but the look in his eyes said the opposite. "Lissa does," he added in a low hard voice now.

I looked away from him again, feeling guilty this time. Lissa and I didn't really part in great terms. I turned my back on her to get on my quest of killing Dimitri, to set him free from his immortality. She claimed that I loved Dimitri more than I love her. But I love them both, equally if that was possible. But I felt more obligated to Dimitri for now. And if I survive this I might come back, but I'm more scared that I might not take the fact that I killed Dimitri. I'm terrified that I might go insane.

"How is Lissa?" I sighed, distracting myself from my own demise.

He took my chin so I could look at him, "You tell me." He said, seriousness taking over his face.

I bit my bottom lip, of course he knows. When I slipped into Lissa's mind yesterday by accident I knew anytime that Adrian would visit too. The meditations I've been doing to keep myself from them was wearing out now.

My lips formed a shy smile, "That she shows she's fine, tells everyone she is. But deep inside…" I stopped. I didn't need to continue; he already knows what she's feeling… he could see it through her aura. Even though I feel horrible right now and if not for Dimitri I would run to her. But I have to this for Dimitri, _especially_ for me. I had to be strong, no distractions. To destroy Dimitri is my only goal.

"She's getting good with that dream thing isn't she?" I asked. Knowing Lissa, if the only way to communicate with me is through our dreams then I'm positive that she's doing her best to be able to.

He snickered, "A little," he sighed, "Trying to hard for a fact… but for some reason she can't visit yours." He added when he noticed the look of worry on my face. He sighed an exasperated sigh, "I wasn't able to sense you for a while, either you sleep opposite time to ours or—." And then he finally realized why he was never able to visit my dreams until today. He narrowed his eyes, "You were trying to keep us out."

I smiled, "I can't be distracted. I need to focus." I said, but I more likely to myself reminding myself why I had to be strong.

"Well you know, if you ask Eddie, Lissa—hell, even Christian and me to come after you… We'd do it." Again his voce sounded like he was making a joke, but the seriousness in his eyes says that he's stating the truth. And that worried me too much.

I sighed, no matter how annoying Adrian is I have to remember that he is a very nice guy. "Thanks for the offer Adrian. But I can't be tied down to anyone. I'd want to do this myself." I rested my head on his side.

He patted my back softly in comfort. He was looking beyond the ocean as if someone was calling for him. He smiled at me before he finally disappeared and my dream was suddenly swallowed into darkness. _Ah, my wonderful dreams._

My eyes opened in an instant and my head felt like it was going to explode. Oh no… not again!

My hotel room slowly started to fill with transparent dead people floating around my bed, surrounding me. Most of them are the ones that I saw the day after the court hearing and other new ones.

I'm used to this now, the more Strigoi I kill the more I see the ghosts. But an advantage of the number of Strigoi I kill the more I get control of seeing them, to have them completely disappear. They usually come when I wake up after a long sleep.

I sighed as I saw a new little girl there. Her face was sad and lost as if she knew that she wasn't ready to give up a life she barely experienced. She had the darkest shadow around her among the group.

I looked into her transparent eyes, "Don't worry, I'll join you—just let me finish my quest," with that statement the ghosts disappeared, but the little girl. She just stared at me and then raised her arm towards the window—the sun setting.

"Oh crap!" I cussed as I leaped from my bed to the ground. My eyes landed on the clock that stated it was a quarter till five.

"Double crap!" I cussed under my breath again, realizing that the plane to Russia is going to leave in an hour. I mean, I may be staying in a hotel around the airport premises. But I can't really abuse the fact that I'm close. I was supposed to leave thirty minutes ago at least. They always said, always be there an hour before your international flight.

And I also have a huge problem, how the hell am I going to hide my Stake so I can walk in airport security. Gosh, I wish Lissa was with me right now, she would use compulsion on them to let me through.

At that, I got sucked into Lissa's mind again.

I—she was sitting in the dinning hall that seemed a bit deserted. I mean the sun is setting, which means life at the academy might be too early for students to walk around.

She's reading the weather report and the main headlines. This made me curious… she never does _that._

"Are you still reading that silly news?" Adrian asked in a bored tone as he sat across Lissa. He was holding a glass of water and drank it in one breath as if it was a shot of alcohol.

She lowered the paper a bit to glower at him, and then she continued reading the paper. "You just told me that you visited Rose's dream last night." She set the paper down and frowned, "Who knows maybe she is with me right now… I'd just want to let her know that it's going to be really cold or tell her about what is happening in the real world."

Adrian laughed, "By reading about three houses that burned down that is about three hours away from us?" he teased.

Eddie, who was sitting beside Lissa, tried his best not to laugh but was unsuccessful.

She glared at both at them, "Oh, leave me alone!" she groaned, she was about to start reading when Adrian stopped laughing and was staring at her differently.

She started back, eyebrows furrowing together confused. He was looking right though her, she almost had the urge to turn around and check who he's staring at, but she was positive no one was behind her because she is by the wall.

"What?" she demanded annoyed now. She was seriously thinking had gone insane because he just gave her a seductive smile and winked at her—winked at _me_.

_Crap,_ Adrian knows I'm with Lissa. Flirty bastard can see my aura on Lissa's probably. He once mentioned to me that my aura was dark like Lissa's, but darker. So that would mean she would be surrounded by complete darkness.

"What are you doing?" Christian hissed through his teeth. He looked like he was about to tackle Adrian.

Adrian just rolled his eyes; he leaned back on his chair resting his head on his hands. He had that bored expression playing on his face again. "Easy lover boy…" he grinned, "I'm not flirting with your girlfriend." He said calmly. He winked at Lissa this time.

But before Lissa could figure it out I left her mind again.

And I spent the next fifteen minutes rushing, making up the time I wasted in Lissa's mind. And thinking about how and where I would hide my stake.

I dropped off my rent-a-car in the parking lot of the airport and called them, leaving a message where I left the car. When that twisting feeling in my stomach, the nauseating feeling devoured my body with shock.

I immediately became alert, searching. Strigoi are here. But why? And then that exact moment I heard cold voices that sent chills down my spine. Two Strigoi arguing… I traced the voices, with my stake firmly in my hand I was ready to attack.

I saw them. I was close enough that I can actually hear them, but I was far enough to where they can't sense me just yet. They are too preoccupied to trying not to kill each other. A tall blonde Strigoi was pinning a much shorter Strigoi on the wall, lifting him a few inches off the ground.

I felt my blood boil when I realized that the blonde Strigoi was _him—_the Strigoi that tackled Dimitri and bit Dimitri. The same Strigoi that vowed to kill the last Dragomir. My knees started to shake when I fought the urge to go there and kill him.

"Why do I have to go to Russia?!" The little Strigoi demanded through his teeth. He looked like he was chocking and was really close to attacking the blonde Strigoi.

When the blonde Strigoi spoke, his cold voice gave my insides a good quiver and the hair in my back stand. But his answered was mostly the cause to all of this.

"Because," he hissed menacingly though his teeth, "Dimitri's little dhampir thinks he's in Russia."

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a/n:'

alright… please review… The green button is calling for you….


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**

Alright, thanks for the reviews you guys! I'm so happy… hehe. Well, here it is. I hope you like this one! Enjoy! Don't forget to review please?

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**Chapter Two**

I do not understand what I'm feeling right now. I'm too shocked to even register what I'm feeling exactly. I'm stunned, annoyed and terrified at the same time.

I couldn't face the fact that two little words would have given me so different reactions. When I would hear _Little dhampir_ from Adrian I always wanted to clobber him. The way he uses that term sounds like I'm a piece of ass that he wants to have, and it always annoyed me.

But this blonde Strigoi used this word as a derogatory term like I was a blood whore and not a novice guardian in training. He treated me like I wasn't a novice who already killed at least thirty Strigoi for the past three weeks, not the first novice in the academy to kill two Strigoi even before graduating.

He thinks I'm trash and that made me furious too. Yet those words crawled into my spine giving me goose bumps.

And the fact that he knows I'm going to Russia terrified me. How in the world did he know that I was looking for Dimitri? Did he have Strigoi spy on me?

I thought about it for a second. I closed my eyes trying to sense more Strigoi. But the only nauseating feeling that I have was coming from those two. Could he have humans spy on me then? But that would be impossible because I bought my tickets in my laptop and not a public café.

The blonde Strigoi finally let go of the tiny one. The tiny Strigoi whose name was Jack, immediately staggered back to his feet patting his body. "So what, I don't care what Dimitri's blood whore is doing and going." He spat at the blonde one.

I clenched my fists together; I was shaking with rage now. And it took a lot of strength to not run there and kill both of them.

The blonde Strigoi just laughed, "Don't you want to kill the person that murdered your wife in Spokane?" he asked coldly looking deep into Jack's eyes.

I widen my eyes in surprise, Spokane? I absentmindedly touched the two _molnija_ on my neck. The first two Strigoi I killed was last Christmas. His wife is Elena?

Before I could react I saw Jack throw himself at the blondie pinning him to the ground. Jack's elbow was on his throat. Jack growled, "You're the one that sent them into a suicide mission in Spokane?"

I was stunned at this. Suicide mission? Then it hit me, his wife wasn't Elena. It was one of the Strigoi I killed in Spokane a week ago. The five Strigoi I killed at that house that held me, Mason, Christian, Eddie and Mia in prison for a week—where Mason had been murdered. I went there just to see if I would have clues about Dimitri there—hoping.

"_Are you sure you're going to be fine here, kid?" the man who gave me a ride from Missoula, Montana to Spokane, Washington asked warily. He was dropping me off in front of a dark creepy alley that was at least a hundred yards away and at the end of the alley was the house that I didn't want to be anywhere near it but I had to._

_I smiled at him trying to be calm, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to hop back in the car and take me anywhere but here. "Yeah, my mom isn't home yet. But when I turn the light on the house wouldn't be as creepy." I lied smoothly. I looked back at the dark house giving me chills down my spine._

_He looked at me doubtfully and then at the dark alley. He looked scared of the place too. "Seriously kid, I'd take you to where your mom works at. I'd feel like your safer there."_

_Oh who am I kidding, no matter how many lights I would turn on for that house it would still look so creepy. Something about that house just makes it look creepy, and not just my history because of it. But I have to be believable that I'm going to be alright. Best I can do for this guy was to be at least try to make him buy it._

_So I channeled Lissa's compulsion in my mind, the way her smile when she uses compulsion seems calm, believable and mesmerizing. Even though I can't use compulsion a calm smile would help him relax for me. I smiled a small smile, "I'm positive. I'll be fine." My voice was soothing and doesn't seem like my voice at all._

_He smiled back. I didn't know if his smile was a smile of relief or a mesmerized one. But he just nodded, "Alright kid, good luck." And then he drove off leaving me alone questioning myself if I compelled him or did he just think I was crazy and left off._

Concentrate Rose, you have much more to deal with. _I reminded myself. And of course I'm right. I had other things to think about like walking towards that dark creepy house. I barely remember walking here because when Dimitri just walked me out of the house I was in so much shock of Mason's death that I couldn't even walk myself until Dimitri carried me into his arms wanting to cry the entire time. _

_I reached my stake that was hidden underneath my pant leg, trying to hold on it tight on my hand even though I was shaking a little bit. I wanted to be some place else. Deep inside of me I was hoping that there would be nobody in that house… I wanted to be anywhere but here. But with my luck, I'm sure Strigoi would be here._

_And then that twisting feeling in my stomach, the nauseating feeling slowly crawled into my spine. Yep, I knew it… just my luck._

_Before I could react someone sneaked up from behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist restraining my arms to my side, and then he covered my nose and mouth trying to stop circulation of air from my mouth and nose. _

_When my head started spinning because of the lack of air, that's when I realized that I was in danger. I only had a few seconds to react before I knew I was going to pass out. I wasn't about to give up, I waited for a week before I started searching for Dimitri. I knew I had to train really well; I also started to do some stretches to check my flexibility since I knew something like this would happen._

_And I was ready, I could feel the adrenaline pump into me that I didn't feel like I need oxygen to breathe. I knew I only had a few seconds to spare before my body would lose to consciousness. I raised my leg as high as it can go and hit his face. I heard a satisfying crunch that didn't come from me either. I easily squirmed off his strong hold, and was able to land another blow to his side staggering him away from me._

_I held my stake that I was ready to hit him with the blunt side of my stake. Humans wouldn't have effect on the stake anyways so I might as well try to knock him unconscious before he would warn his masters about an unexpected visitor. I knew he was human since I felt his steady heartbeat when he restrained me._

_But to my surprise, he was too fast for me that I didn't even notice that he grabbed a hold of my wrist before I even made contact to his throat. He was about to twist my arm but then I noticed his expression softened. His next word startled me…_

"_Rose?" I could see the question in his eyes. He let go of me hastily that I staggered backwards._

_I immediately balanced myself to be able to look at my attacker. _Who is he?_ I eyed him from head to toe and my heart skipped a beat when I finally recognized him. He looked much older the last time I saw him, His light brown hair had turned dark brown that it almost looked like it was black. The darkness underneath his eyes was a sign of no sleep to be able to hunt most of the day and night. One of my favorite instructors at the Academy, last time I saw him was almost three years ago… the night I took Lissa away from the Academy._

"_Guardian Tanner?" I asked tentatively walking towards him to see the sad look on his face. "What are you doing here…?" I said hastily in a horse whisper._

_He looked into my eyes, and then looked up on the moon shinning on both of us. "I came here for information," he looked back into my eyes. And that's when I felt a certain connection that he and I shared._

_I knew then the true reason he is here. I looked away from his deep gaze and towards the dark house. "I did too…" I whispered softy that the only way he could hear me was through the cold night._

_He sighed, "So it is true… Dimitri has been lost." His voice was too dark that there was no sound of regret to it._

_I clenched my fists and closed my eyes not wanting to cry. I didn't want to hear it. Of course I knew that Dimitri had lost his soul and turned to a Strigoi. But I didn't want to hear it, something deep inside me wanted to believe that he still had his soul and he would be wondering around… dying._

_The nauseating feeling was stronger now, and that's when I realized that the Strigoi that was in the shelter of that dark home was behind me. When I turned around Guardian Tanner was already in front of me in a protective crouch._

_Five Strigoi emerged in the darkness, but a female with long blonde hair was in the middle and appeared to be the leader. She had a dark smile on her face; her eyes were bright red of hunger. "Look what we have here, a guardian and a novice with _molnija _marks." She cackled that her voice made the back of my hair stand. _

_She stopped and looked deviously at Guardian Tanner, "I didn't expect to see you again Mikhail…" she smirked, "Sonya sends her regards..." she raised her arm and bowed slightly. I don't know if that's a sign of disrespect but I don't like the look of it, and the way she said Miss Karp's name._

_I saw Guardian Tanner fidget and then he held on his stake tightly. "It was a mistake to set you free Kasslyn." He spat darkly through his teeth._

_She laughed again but this time she tilted her head to get a better look at me, she stared deep into my eyes, "Ah, you must be Dimitri's dhampir." She took a step forward and grinned. "It's too bad we are going to have to kill you. He would have loved to suck your blood dry." She cackled her dark laughter._

_I shook this time, but with rage. I was about to launch towards her but Guardian Tanner stood in front of me blocking my way. "Don't give in… don't let her get the advantage." He whispered to me._

_I took a deep breath to calm myself down. But I couldn't help it I was shaking with rage that I didn't even know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm almost blinded by rage._

"_I knew you would come here… that's why I ordered Dimitri to go to Russia. So I would get to taste you're blood." She was directly talking to me distracting me. But I saw that the other four Strigoi were striding forward ready to attack without any need for command. "I hear you liked being a blood whore…Dimitri was one too… before we finally turned him." She raised an eyebrow testing me._

_That was it, I was blinded with pure rage that I didn't even know what I was doing anymore… I lunged to her chest but someone jumped in the way and took the hit. I didn't care if Guardian Tanner was yelling at me. I was already lost in my world of murder._

"I didn't even realize it would work. I just wanted to try if she would show." The blonde Strigoi, whose name now I remembered, Sean, had said in a smug tone. Not even realizing that he was offending Jack. I don't even think he cares at all.

"But when I saw the way they looked at each other in that cave… I knew the way to separate that novice from Princess Dragomir. Hitting two birds with one stone." He laughed darkly. "I was going to grab the little novice, but Dimitri jumped in the way… protecting her. It was too fast that I don't think she even noticed." He easily grabbed Jack's and set him aside. "I wanted to kill the last Dragomir… to suck her blood dry to be stronger."

Jack was stunned and looked at his insane friend who started to laugh darkly. "My Kasslyn." He muttered under his breath.

"And I guessed right. If their love is just as strong as Sonya's and her lover… I knew she would hunt Dimitri to free him of his soulless life." He said darkly more to himself now since Jack wasn't really paying attention to him. "And I choose you to go to Russia. Because I knew you will make me proud by making her suffer." He knelt in front of Jack, taking his face to lean it closer to his. "Do what ever you want… I do not care."

I didn't listen anymore; I had to get out of there before I do anything rash. I just ran… I didn't know what to do. I had to go to Russia I knew that. If I won't go, they would know. The airline would call my name. I had to think of something fast…

"Please sir… you don't understand." I begged the check point person. I took his hand and held it tightly. He took his hand away that same second, looking around if someone was looking.

"I'm sorry miss. You either go on the flight or not." He said stiffly.

"I know… but I can't go on that flight. Please just scan my ticket when you start boarding." I whispered silently to him, I let some tears escape me eyes. It was easier now, these weren't crocodile tears either. "Please, my boyfriend will know I didn't go. I can feel he's here watching me." I put my head down and my hair was covering my face as tears started to flow down my eyes like waterfall. "At least he would think I'm in Russia and he can ride the next plane and search for me there while I hide here in the US. He's going to kill me, if he finds me."

The attendant just sighed in defeat, he shivered as well. He took my hand and removed the ticket away from shaking hand. He was shaking as well. "I will try my best to protect you Miss." He said with determination. He hastily wiped my tears from my face as he looked around again to see if people were watching. They were, but no one was right behind me so they don't know what we are talking about. "Now, run. Be safe." He smiled softly.

I looked up and I tried to smile but I couldn't. "Thank you…" and I ran, making sure I checked for any Strigoi. When I was at an end hall of the tiny airport I just bawled my heart out.

I couldn't believe that this had happened to me. Dimitri and I were just part of Sean's game to get Lissa. It was just as Dimitri had feared… our feelings got in the way of Lissa's safety. I chose Dimitri over her… and if Sean would have taken me instead of Dimitri… he would have done the same thing, therefore leaving her without a Guardian. Sure, she is in the Academy… she is much safer than me… but ever since the wards fell on that devastating night, I'm not sure if she is as safe.

I closed my mind and tried to enter Lissa's. She was sitting in one of her classes, she looked around the almost empty room and then she her eyes met Eddie's who was standing at the end of the hall. He nodded at her briefly and she just returned a smile.

Eddie looked different, I didn't know what it was. But he looked more mature. I wanted Lissa to look at him again, but she was called by Christian who was seated right beside her. That's weird, Christian doesn't sit there… Ralf used to sit there. And their teacher was usually strict with seat arrangements.

"Lissa," Christian called her name softly again he didn't look up from his notes so it would seem like he was listening to the teacher. "I'm sure Rose is alright… she has to be. She's going to be your guardian."

She softly sobbed, "I don't know about that Christian. I did hurt her so much. I wish I can take back what I had said. I hated the fact that I didn't support her. I feel selfish." She held on her pen so tight that it broke in half.

Christian was startled to this. He took her hand briefly, "You just wanted her to be safe."

When the bell rang saying that the class was over, she immediately threw herself to his arms not even caring that other people were watching and she just cried.

I escaped her mind and I felt bad. How could I feel like Lissa had abandoned me? She just wanted me to be safe as I kept her safe for the entire time I knew her. I don't know how long I'd be gone… I don't even know when I'd find Dimitri… or even I could kill him. It has been almost three years and Guardian Tanner hasn't even found Miss Karp.

"_Enough Rose… they are all dead." Guardian Tanner took my arm as I was about to strike on the Strigoi that has been dead for a few seconds now._

_He wrapped his arms around me in a fatherly way; he kept saying it was going to be alright and that I was going to find what I was looking for. He did that about five minutes until I had stopped._

_I looked up at him and I asked a question that I had wanted to ask when I realized that I saw him. But again, there was that connection again that he knew what I was going to ask._

"_No, I haven't killed Sonya yet," He whispered, he sounded tired._

_I swallowed my tears again, "When you see her, would you be able to kill her?"_

_He looked at me, determination written in his face. "I have to. I'm afraid only time will tell. Either I would kill her or she would kill me." He said calmly._

_His eyes were questioning something too, and I knew what his question was before he even worded them out. "I do not know what to do either when I'd come face to face with him. But I do know one thing, when his soul died part of me died too. So I do not care what happens from now on."_

My words echoed in my head, _I don't care what happens from now on… _ But when I think about it, it is my fault that Dimitri had become a Strigoi. If I didn't let him love me he would still be that Badass god that everyone would admire. He would be Lissa's guardian and protect her from me. So now, I know in my heart that I have to kill Dimitri—I need to kill Dimitri. For his sake, and my sake.

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a/n:

I hope you all like this… reviews please! Yay!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **

I do no own Vampire Academy… Awesome Richelle Mead is! Hooray for her! I hope I get more hits than usual. I know I have been late in updating this,. Reviews please if you like it… it gives me bubblies.

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**Chapter Three**

I usually know when my dreams aren't just mine now. My dreams have always been dark and when it starts showing light and happiness I knew that I have a visitor.

I groaned in my dream expecting Adrian to pop out at any moment and call me names. I was expecting this to happen too, I haven't been guarding my mind from any of the spirit users lately. And the fact that I also never really got much sleep for the past month wasn't also helping my cause.

"Adrian! Get out!" I threatened. _I like my dark dreams. At least in these dreams I get to see Dimitri. _Of course no matter how much I'd say that, the arrogant bastard wouldn't listen to me. So I'll just stand here and do nothing and wait for this darkness to become light.

But this change seems slow, it isn't as fast as Adrian's. Plus this place seemed familiar, the aura of this place I had visited once. And then it hit me, this isn't Adrian doing this dream hoping… _Lissa._

"Rose!" her voice screamed in the edge of the beautiful meadow. Her shadowed figure started to walk towards me.

And then I woke up with a horrible head ache. Not any kind of head ache that made my head explode, but a head ache that seems like someone was trying to compel me and I was trying to fight it. For a second there I was expecting the ghost to float around my room, but nothing. Except one question echoed in my head… _Where am I?_

I had been roaming around the Western Us for a month now. Trying to hunt for clue to find Dimitri and maybe killing Strigoi as a bonus too. So there are other times where I would wake up and not even remember what state or city I even crashed in.

But right now was weirder, I had _no_ idea where I was. I stared around the room examining every inch of the place as if I haven't been here before. I was just listening to the order in my head, until I found a napkin on the bedside table… _Portland, Oregon_. And then with that my head ache disappeared.

"What was I trying to do?" I asked myself, confused on what just happened. Then my eyes landed on an envelope addressed to Eddie Castile stating that if Lissa had strange feeling about things like being followed or just something out of the ordinary that seemed dangerous. He should take her away from the academy and be on a run for awhile and then take her to Royal Court.

But I never seemed to have the guts to mail it. I know Eddie did swear to me when he saw me filling out the withdrawal sheet that he was going to look out for Lissa for me. Not to treat her as if he's her practice guardian but her sanctioned guardian.

Next thing I knew I slipped into Lissa's mind. I've been doing that at least once a day if she's alright.

She's asleep and dreaming about bright and pretty stuff when all of a sudden opened her eyes, astonished.

She seemed disoriented and then she looked at her hands as if she was seeing them for the first time.

"Lissa?" someone asked her, Christian touched her back lightly. "Are you alright?"

She raised her head from looking at her hands to him, tears building up her eyes. "Rose," she muttered quietly. And then she looked at her hands again, _Rose, I miss you._

Then I left her mind, bewildered. _What was that?_ Did she just notice that I was in her mind? That's impossible the bond only goes one way… right?

And where was she anyways. I was too distracted by the fact that she was noticing me in her mind to even actually see her whereabouts. The hazyness of the road on the background… does that mean she's in a car? Did she try and escape the academy? Or was it just a trip to the mall kind of thing. When I slipped into her mind she didn't really seem like she was in danger.

I jumped out of the bed and took the envelope and ran to the mailbox in front of the hotel. I didn't even hesitate anymore I just dropped the letter. The way she said my name was as if she needed my badly. Maybe when she learns about this letter she would know that even though I'm not looking out for her as a guardian, I'm still there for her as her best friend.

I had been in two states for the past two months, searching (more like hunting) for Dimitri or information about him. Searching for Strigoi who knows about him and might lead me to him. I only came across to three groups of Strigoi, two of the groups didn't really know anything about Dimitri or anything wrong with the world of vampires (the attacking Vampire Academy and massacring Royalties). They weren't also as trained as the other Strigoi that attacked the academy. They wanted to suck my blood dry that their hunger was their own demise and killed each other before I could even get my stake to do it myself.

The group which had four Strigoi, freaked me out so much that when they mentioned Dimitri as their hostage once I kind of flipped out and didn't really know what had happened next other than all of them died—I blacked out like what had happened a few weeks ago with Guardian Tanner.

After Oregon I'm going to drive to Idaho. Seriously I wouldn't believe they would be hiding in the south of the country. Where it would always be sunny? Now that would be insane. So that means for me, Arizona, California and Nevada are the states I don't need to search for.

I drive all night long just searching. When the sun is getting ready to rise I find a place to sleep, eat and all that other necessity things. And then go hunting again. That has been my life for the past month I don't really care anymore, I just need to find Dimitri, and I need to free him from his soulless lifestyle.

It's been three hours since I've been driving and for some damnable reason I've been having a killer head ache. And the fact that at times I feel like I'm lost, that I had the urge to look for signs or something to see where I am. Which I really don't get because I don't drive for landmarks or even care where I am, I drive by instinct.

Just as I was about to turn into another highway, I had that nauseating feeling crawled into my stomach and into my spine. Luckily, there was no car anywhere near me because I immediately halted into a stop that that ever was behind me would be in a terrible accident. I hastily turned into the opposite direction.

I was thanking myself that I was a better driver than I thought. Then I left my car on the side of the road. And ran as fast as I can to the direction my gut had told me. When my stomach clenched harder, I knew I was going to the right direction. Hoping and praying that this was it, the end of my search. Of course it could never be easy… but I can always dream.

As if someone out there heard my prayers I heard voices. I couldn't make out the words, but when I didn't understand if I was happy or not.

"If that novice just wants him, why won't we just give him stead of losing a lot of us?"

Then a cold chilling laugh was followed after a few moments of awkward silence, "Foolish boy, he is one of our best fighters. We can't throw him away like bait."

_Definitely Dimitri. Or more likely Dimitri and me! But the weird thing is, I only killed about ten Strigoi within the past month. I mean ten isn't that bad especially if they had lost a lot more in the attack of the school. _

"Why not, we have lost a lot already!" an older woman voiced agreed with the younger Strigoi.

"It doest matter!" the leader with the chilling laugh yelled that made the entire group quiet down. And also made me jump, which made a very loud noise since I stepped on a dry twig.

"Guess who we have here…."

I heard a swift movement towards me, and I was quick enough to reach for my stake and collide into something into its dead heart. And then I heard another attack coming at me so I used the dead Strigoi in my arms to throw it at him. I jumped out of the way when he threw the dead body back at me.

The next thing I knew I was surrounded by three Strigoi staring at my bare neck, lusting on my blood. But that didn't disturb me as much as the leader's face was someone that I had seen in the cave a few months ago. He had this evil grin on his face, he looked happy to see me. He was staring at my neck too, but he wasn't lusting over it. He looked amazed at my tattoos on my neck. Then comprehension had hit him, he knew who I am.

"I was wondering when I'd get to meet you, Rose. I thought we just got a lost little kitten. I didn't realize it was _you_." He had this look on his face that made me want to split his skull into two and I would love it.

"I'm glad," I paused as I held on tight to my stake ready for any attack. One little movement from them, they are dead. "That you want to meet me then."

"You're _her_? Killing all my brothers?" The youngest looking male in the group said in low voice. He was glowering at me and then clenched his teeth together making a horrible cringing sound.

"Enough!" The leader of the group hissed at the others who had started to make slow movements towards me. He took a huge step so he can get closer to me, he all of a sudden had welcoming warm smile on his face baring his fangs. "You should join us… I'll be glad to awaken you myself." His eyes slowly became a lighter color of red that didn't look threatening at all.

I thought about what he had said… and then I realized he was trying to compel me. Disgusted with myself I spat on the ground, "No!" I yelled trying to take myself off his compulsion. I was making sure I wasn't going to have any contact with his eyes anymore.

He growled the friendly look on his face disappeared in a second. He was probably pissed that I escaped his compulsion. His lips pulled back a little showing a dark smile, "He joined us you know…" he whispered that only I could hear.

"No, you compelled him… you _made _him join you."

He laughed a maniac echoing laugh, and then he stopped. He all of a sudden raised his arms in the air as if he was offering me a hug. "He begged for us to turn him. He wanted to be awakened…"

I was shaking my head the entire time he was talking. I couldn't believe what he was saying. I didn't want to believe it. It's impossible for that to happen. Dimitri would rather die than become an undead…---

One movement on my left jumping towards me, someone was taking advantage of my daydreaming. I ducked in just in time and kicked her in the gut making her fly a few inches off me hitting on of his companions. I stood up immediately and glared at their leader. "I would have believed you if your little minion over there didn't attack me!"

"I am nobody's minion! I go by my own rules!" The Strigoi that was clenching his teeth the entire time I was talking jumped to me and tried to slash my chest open, but I was too quick for him and stabbed his chest with my stake—not before he could scratch my side.

I pushed his lifeless body away from me and staggered a bit. And for a second I thought I was going to fall over. There was still two Strigoi left. I'm pretty sure I can take them. But for some reason my strength was falling and a little sting on my side was throbbing now. My hand touched the scratch and I realized that it wasn't just a scratch, but it was a huge cut on my side and I was bleeding like a waterfall.

"Amazing how sharp our nails can be… sometimes I forget and I behead one of my companions in a little fight for food." When he said that I noticed that the girl beside him was laying on the floor lifeless. He was taking a few steps towards me, with bloodlust in his eyes.

I staggered backwards again away from him. I was trying to stay conscious—trying to fight my slowly losing consciousness from loosing too much blood. This cant be it…. I can't give up! I have to be strong for Dimitri.

"Do you know how long it takes for a mortal to be unconscious after loosing too much blood?" and then he started explaining what I was feeling. "You're trying to fight it, but you know cant do it anymore. In a matter of seconds your eyes are going to close… and you aren't going to be able to open them. You are going to hear and feel everything that I am going to be doing…."

He was finally in front of me. I could feel his arms wrap around my huge wound. He was the only support I have. I couldn't even keep my balance. Then he hastily grabbed my side squeezing more blood from it. That even though I know I couldn't have the strength anymore, I yelled on the top of my lungs in pain.

I slowly opened my eyes, and I saw him lick his palm longingly. "Ah, I'll hand it to him. He always chooses the good tasting ones." I could feel him pull me closer to him, he leaned my head so my neck was bared to his lips. "I would gladly awaken you myself, if I don't suck your blood dry." He whispered against my neck.

As soon as I could feel his teeth sink into my neck, tears started to flow down my eyes. It wasn't because of the pain that I was feeling at the moment. It was because this is the end. I couldn't believe this is how I was going to die… My death was in the hands of someone else.

And then something hit me hard—a rush of emotions that was I didn't understand at all. It was a very messy emotion that was wanting my safety. But I didn't really think about it because I was already losing all my strength that the last thing I saw was flames and a bright light before darkness finally swallowed me.

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a/n: dont forget to review :)


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